Just another day....

And that's how it feels sometimes. When overseas you experience a range of emotions which seem to come and go like a runway roller coaster. Sometimes you begin to reminisce on the familiarity, the comfort of the surroundings you left behind. The ease involved with being able to call up and meet with a friend, a family member, or to join the whole family on one of mum's famous Sunday lunches, where laughs are shared, exquisite meals served and where everyone gets to chill out on the oh so soft and inviting couch while sporting a belly that would make Buddha green with envy. Then you remind yourself that however much you may love your close ones, there was a pressing reason that drove you to yearn for change, to embrace something foreign and unknown, because in my opinion, the unknown, though unwelcomed at first, also attracts us with its magnetic promise of adventure and excitement, holding the key to experiences that could seldom be had when one remains in the realm of familiarity.
So there you are, having extracted yourself from your comfort zone, you find yourself in a land not only foreign in its flora and fauna, but also intricately different in its cultural and social fibre. The language is different, the customs and ways of doing things completely alien and at times so hard to comprehend that you wonder how things can seem to function or work when you are so used to things functioning the only way you know how...which is how they work in the environment you were raised. But that's what fascinating, that is what makes traveling to other places a must, if only to realize the world is a varied and intriguing place, where your way is not the only way and the colours of the painting that make the world so intricate shine brighter than you've ever seen before.
So here I sit, in a net coffee bar miles away from my "home", sitting alone trying to make sense of the variety of feelings I find myself confronted with. Alexis left for Rwanda today. He will be gone for two weeks and I already know Im going to miss him. I have other friends here but Lex is like a foundational stone for me.
However life goes on, and so do the various expectations placed on me from various sources... such as.."Hey, Gio, could you design my wedding invites for me?... and.. "Hey, Gio, could you design my concert promotional posters...oh.. and more ID cards for the clinic..and oh..".. and so on and so on....
Sometimes I feel on the worn out side. I really enjoy what I do, the satisfaction I get from seeing my students progressing with their computer skills, helping out friends promote their causes or bands, helping a refugee based clinic become more organized and therefore more functional through better communication methods and equipping their staff with the necessary tools, but at the same time, Im running out of money...fast ..and considering I still have a month left in Yemen followed by a further three weeks in Sri Lanka I must admit sometimes the worry level is increased in the form of anxiety. I have the option to teach english at at an institute near by, which would provide me with some cash, but the only problem with that is that my daily schedule is jam packed with voluntary work, which is the reason why I am here, so I find myself torn between the two, not wanting to let anyone down, but at the same time realizing I too need to survive. I don't like relying on others for support, as I feel that this is something I ventured into out of my own will, yet at the same time I feel myself pressed into a wall, saying.."what now?.
So far as the future goes, after Sri Lanka I will be heading back to Australia to first and foremost give my loved ones a big hug, but I'm also planning God willing to do a three month English teaching course which would give me the necessary paperwork and skills to take off to another part of the world, where I could organize myself between teaching english on a paid basis, and doing voluntary work on the side.I feel Im getting addicted to the lifestyle, the immersion of oneself into a foreign land, into unknown situations. I love learning new things and meeting new people, and I have a deep inner desire to make my life count for something, which in turn, really, means living it for others. Who knows, through the little I give I may be helping out a future up and coming graphic designer,spark in him/her a passion that will see them develop their skills and support and teach others in turn. Or perhaps teaching english to someone who one day will use the language to lead his people in a presidential or influential position.
The fact is, and remains, that we are not always aware of the repercussion of our actions. What starts off as a ripple may in time turn into a tidal wave of an enormity we may never get to witness with our own eyes, yet it still happens, and I guess the beauty of this life we live is hidden in its unpredictability. What we know, what we see, is only a small part of what is. This I witness everyday through observing others, and the influence they've been able to have in the lives of people using what they have, weather little or small, and imparting it into the lives of others as seeds that will one day sprout and bear fruit. Time is precious, time is of the essence, but with little time so much can be achieved if only we learn to use it wisely, and that is something Im trying to learn the value of more and more everyday.

Just venting thoughts I guess... I'm in a pensive mood , happy, yet sad, fulfilled, yet lacking, sure, yet confused. Ever had one of those days?. Though I have friends, at times I feel as loneliness is a constant companion of mine. But I have felt this all my life. Surrounded by a million faces I still sometimes feels its claws gripping deep inside, like a well that cannot be filled, a dark , cold room where the only sound heard is the echoing of my own breath, and it is in that room where In my mind I would love to reach out, and grab a sure hand, a hand which is steady and will not let go, one that loves unconditionally and will accept me as I am. I wonder If Im alone in this , I wonder if others feel this too, but I guess its true of all, just different in its varying degrees. K... got a bit dark then..sorry..but as I said... just venting thoughts...
All in all, everything is well. What is today will change tomorrow, but let us live today, let us be glad in the good things we have, and let us first and foremost look at the beauty that is being human, with our strengths and our flaws alike. Life is precious, life is powerful, but life is best when shared wit others, this I know for sure.

OVER AND OUT:)